An ode to my first wrinkle.

Dear furrow between my brow -
You are a memory of my anxious youth,
A testament to changing times,
And a tattooed reminder
Of what life can teach.

S.

Hermit

Like a little hermit crab
In a little hermit shell
I carry my world
On my shoulders
And as the ocean crashes in
I retreat into my little hermit home
And find peace
In my little hermit head

S.

May

May the homeward-bound
rest their feet,
and their souls
find peace.

May the ink that writes
never dry unwritten,
and if the pages are found
their secrets are unhidden.

May your heart keep beating
even as you die,
and remind you
that you once were alive.

S.

Republic of My Heart

Oh Republic of my Heart
Don't falter in the breaking dawn
The sun will rise
And the blood in your streets
Will transform from seas of black
To warm ruby glow

Stand tall!
Stand tall
And take what is yours
But take care!
Keep at bay
the wolves of your past
with the fire in your depths
And the walls around your softness

Republic!
No one owns you
And you are uncaged
Step forward from your past
And know that I alone
Will hold you
And defend you


S.

Who Hurt You?

Dearest,

Who hurt you so badly
That you can't forgive?
What terrible deed
Did they inflict upon you
That you can't move on?

Did it mean so much
To you?
Did you care so much
For them?
Did your tears change
A thing?

No.
Water wears away at stone,
And so your tears
Will wear you 
Down.

And yet,
As you stand
And face them again,
The fierceness of your fire
And the strength of your
Dreams
Will 
Heal
You.


S.

To Remind You

The thunder 
In every heartbeat
Rumbles
And gushes
Like a tidal wave
Of Life
And when it
Stops
Death
Is come
And gone
And the rain
And the sun
No longer
Are
But the thunder
The echo
The distant shudder
Of mountains
And stones
Grainy and hard
In blended softness
Stays behind

S.

A Conversation.

He said,
'I want to live in your world with you
The little boy in me
Wants to know the little girl in you
My heart wants to beat
With the rhythm in you
And my hands want to hold together
The best and the worst in you.'

I said,
'My world is in my head
And nowhere else
I have no comrade and no leader
I'm alive and yet
My pulse doesn't dance
And my fire and my rain never quite meet.'

He said,
'I want to be on your mind always
Like you are on mine
I want to be your playmate and your companion
And you can be mine
I want to listen to your breath
And for you to hear mine
And I want to warm by your heart
And you can calm by mine.'

I said,
'You're expecting too much of my thoughts
With their chaos and their order
How can you be friends with the friendless - 
What will become of this loner?
What happens when I want peace
And can't silence the drum?
What if the tidal waves never quell
And we're all tossed out to sea?'

And he said,
'I've seen your world
And I want to be your friend
I want to take the loner into my soul
And make it okay
I want to stand at your shoulder
And between and within each hurricane and firestorm
I want to say to you as we get older
That you live in my heart
And I by your side
That I hear you thoughts
And speak your language
That we are kindred spirits
Like two pearls from two oceans
That I can hold your vastness and give you mine
If you let me into your world.'

And I said,
'Okay, then.'


S.

The secret's out.

Words unspoken
Truths unsaid
Best kept so,
Perhaps,
Or maybe...
Just...
Too late -
They're out!

Take back every thought
Undo every verb
And unmake every noun
Unsee and unhear
But it's
Too late - 

Unspeak! Quick!
Unsay these things!
Too late - 
The atoms and waves
Have collided
And formed a new world
In the open.

The secret's out.


S.

Gaps

We are the ethers,

You find us

in the spaces

between your words,

And in the pause

between each breath.

We are naught,

And yet,

we hold you together,

Bind you,

And in our absence,

You fall apart - 

A jumble,

And naught but mess

- S.

Keep.

Keep me in your heart,
Even when I'm not dear - 
Still, then, your voice is
The last thing I want to hear...


S.

Trying to by pithy.

Trying to write a witty limerick
Something short and slick
I come up with words
But the ideas are absurd 
And the last rhyme won't click

Purgatory.

Purgatory has a door
And on it is my name
I hope to make it through there
Someday, past every cleansing flame
It'll be like rebirth
Like a bath in the purest lake
I'll lose every burden 
The fire will burn away all the pain
And the only thing left
Will be the ashes of my shame
And I'll carry them around with me
To remind me of the warmth of those flames

S.

Ode to the Square.

They ask me, "S.,
How can you bear
To be a square?"

And I'm like, "Dude,
When you're as awesome as me
There's nothing else you can be."

So they're like, "Well,
What's so great
About this shape?"


And I'm like, "Observe,
The sides are so straight
And so is each face."


Then they're like, "Oh,
I see the right angles - 
They might be more than I can handle!"


So I'm like, "What,
Is that all?
What about the four strong walls?"

And they're like, "Wow,
You're totally right - 
What a sight!"


And I'm like, "Look,
The smooth tessellation
It's beyond the imagination!"


So they're like, "S.,
I concur
The perfection of the square - 
It captures your awesomeness,
I see it all there!"


And I'm like, "Thanks,
I knew you'd see the light
Though it took you a while,
I'm glad you know I'm right."


S.

Leave Me to My Thoughts

Leave me to my thoughts,
Let me wander around in peace...
The grass is greener in the distance,
And I want to be free.

Let me go far, far away,
Let today be the last thought on my mind,
Unlock the shackles on my feet,
Let me leave this hell behind.


I've been to Hades,
I've been stuck here for too long.
I'm sick of the darkness,
And I'm tired of hearing the same sad songs.

I'll leave tomorrow,
Nothing can make me stay.
I'm going to walk on towards the sun,
And sit on the horizon of every day.


S.

What to do, what to do...

An hour gone,
Another drifts on by...
I wanted more from my day,
I'm not going to lie.

Just a few more minutes,
Just a few more days...
Actually it's a few more months
But who's counting, anyway?

Must look busy,
Must find something to do...
Don't stare into space,
Stop thinking about shoes.

Woops, the boss just passed,
I think he thought
That I'd be doing something more
Than tying my fingers into knots.

What was I thinking?
I'm not quite sure...
But I definitely know
I can't sit at a desk ever again,
Anymore.


S.

Ode to Citalopram

Citalopram,
Conjugated with hydrobromide,
Or with oxalate,
You still calm
My spastic heart rate.

Citalopram,
You wake me gratefully
At the crack of dawn,
And for the lack of sleep
I mourn.

Citalopram,
Without you, 
My cardiac rhythm
Does funny things,
Like excited light beams
Through a prism.

Citalopram,
Though I complain
About your flaws,
You are still my
Daily enabling clause.

Citalopram,
Provider of stimulation,
You get me out of bed,
And when I'd like to mope
I feel fairly content instead.

S.

Here it is.

Here's a pebble
On the beach,
Here's a dream
Just out of reach.


Here's a ladder
Against a wall,
Here's a hand
For you to hold.


Here's a way
A path to take,
Here's the courage
To fix the mistake.


Here's a rhyme
To get you through,
Here's a pebble 
To remind you,
Rocks and mountains
Mountains and sand,
You hold the beginning and the end
In your hand.

S.

A Never Naught Song - By Robert Frost

There was never naught,
There was always thought.
But when noticed first
It was fairly burst
Into having weight.
It was in a state
Of atomic One.
Matter was begun -
And in fact complete,
One and yet discree
To conflict and pair.
Everything was there,
Every single thing
Waiting was to bring,
Clear from hydrogen
All the way to men.
It is all the tree
It will ever be,
Bole and Branch and root
Cunningly minute.
And this ist of all
Is so infra-small
As to blind our eyes
To its every guise
And so render nil
The whole Yggdrasill.
Out of coming-in
Into having been!
So the picture’s caught
Almost next to naught
But the force of thought.

Aspirations.

I would like to write a poem,

On all things great.

I would like to write an ode,

To the intricacies of fate.

Alas, I am no poet,

No great composer,

And though I dream all day

I know it's already over.

S.

Nonsense.

Sometimes

The sun doesn't look so sunny,

The water's too runny,

I'm too funny,

This is not going to help me make money.

Maybe

I'll fight fires,

Or change tyres,

Or lock away liars,

I'm not sure I have the skills that this requires.

Perhaps

I should learn to sing,

Can't wait to be king,

Find a rock to which I could cling,

Because my world has lost its anchoring,

Probably

Just marry someone rich and generous,

Whose pretty cars are numerous,

And will appreciate my humorous(ness).

Or I could just study.

-S.