A(nother) theory.

The trick to life is never to base your happiness on anyone or anything else, outside of yourself.


People, no matter how well-meaning, will eventually, and inevitably, let you down. Your career and material possessions can disappear in a day. But your ability to find something positive in any situation? It'll always be around (though, of course, sometimes it is impossible to do - but this is not as paradoxical as it may seem). 


The problem with people is that they are never as consistent as you would like them to be. They say one thing, and then do another. For example, 'Oh yeah I don't like so-and-so, I can't stand being around them' and then the next day, 'Yeah, so I went to so-and-so's party, it was so much fun, they are so awesome'.


It leaves you feeling a little stranded and a lot lost.


As much as you'd like to think that you've put in all the work and that it must all pay off, your studies/career are not guaranteed to work out. Maybe you'll be in a grumpy mood on the morning of your exam. Maybe the place you're working at can't afford to keep you on, or they'll find someone better than you. There's always someone better. It's really annoying.

At the end of the day, all you really have is yourself and what's inside you. It's what attracts your friends to you, and it's what gets you out of bed every morning. It's what gets you through the terribly stressful times when you just want to walk out onto oncoming traffic. No matter how many times someone else tries to tell you that it's going to be okay, or that it's going to work out, you will only feel better when you yourself believe it and tell yourself. 

Not that I have anything against unreliable people in general. I just don't really like it when our paths cross and I end up relying on them. Sort of the same with studying and careers - I know they're bound to have some hiccups, but why can't I seem to able to get rid of them? Like, EVER?

Which brings me back to my main point. Despite the people and the hiccups, I think I'm quite content with life. In a sort-of way. I don't like waiting, which is what it seems I am doing, again, but still. The annoying people make for good light entertainment (in general - you have to realise that you are separate from them and that your happiness doesn't rely on other people to be able to fully enjoy the hilarity of what they say/do). I think I'm bored. 

Oh. Dear. God. Not again. 


That is not to say that people can't be awesome - they can be, and many are. And life DOES work out. But sometimes, you need to stop denying yourself and give into the wallowing in self-pity. Whingeing can be very good for the morale. 

Peace and love, 

S.