At the end of the day, all anyone wants is to belong, and to be appreciated. To have just one person who believes in you, regardless of where are you, or what you haven't achieved, it's really uplifting. Knowing that one person in the whole wide world knows what's running through your head, either because they've been there or because they're just incredibly perceptive, and this same person thinks you're going to be okay - it's a really sweet feeling. It's like when the Head of department looks at your pathetic academic transcript and says they'd love to have you on their team. Or when the smartest person you know decides to sit next to you instead of all the other successful (but pretentious) b*tches. And I guess knowing that someone else has felt what you're feeling and has pulled themselves out and onwards gives you faith, that maybe you can do the same.
I never really understood the whole teenage-trying-to-find-who-I-am thing. I didn't really identify with it as a teenager, I was too concerned about all the crap in the world to look inside. But then again, I was more confident in who I was, I was doing well at school and even once that slipped away I knew that all I had to do is try and I'd be back up there. I want to go back to that. Back to having that much faith in myself (although it wasn't really faith, I just knew that I could do it). Still, going through it now makes me wonder if I'll ever get out of it? How can you definitively say that you are this one thing and not anything else? I'm really quiet, but then I'm really loud and outgoing. I'm not fussed about things, but then I'm fussed/angry/p*ssed off ALL the time. I bottle things up, but then I don't have a problem with expressing them either. So what am I? I can't be an extrovert and an introvert at the same time, not to the same degree, at least.
Anyway, life takes time. And there's so much awesomeness to enjoy in the time it takes for things to get better. For example, JEDWARD!!!! I know they cop a lot of flack for being so....hyper? But they're awesome. They've got the right idea about life - do what you can with what you have, have all the fun you can (without hurting anyone) and ignore anyone who tries to put you down. Of course, it's easier for them because they can sing, plus they're TWINS so they'll always have the other person around. But still. Then there's Rémi Gaillard (French prankster). He is happy because he does what he loves. Plus he's super-gutsy! And French, LOL.
I'll just enjoy this good mood for as long as it lasts. Will probably something cynical to say tomorrow, never fear!
Peace and Love,
S.
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