The chicken obviously came first but last night it occurred to me that the most interesting part is why we feel the need to know? Why do we care so much?
I know that I feel at peace when I know more, but I'm not sure how this knowledge translates to understanding, or how this understanding translates to a cuddle of the soul.
How do you come to terms with all of life's existential questions without becoming nihilistic or apathetic? Faith is an important part for me, and I suppose for many people who don't have organised religion as well (faith in the scientific community to work it out?), but what about everyone else?
I was probably ~24yrs old when I found out - for literally the first time - that not everyone is consumed with existential crises - and it is still mind-blowing. Of course, being unwell has a big part to play with these concerns, but somehow my mind always finds its way back to this ontological panic (woop! Used a big word! Hope I used it correctly...). What form do our thoughts take when we are well? I am - or at least, I started the first few weeks of semester - feeling calm and almost at one with objective thoughts, and yet I cannot recall what those thoughts were.
Are some of us just hardwired to stress about specific things, and we taken on the stress that would normally be allocated to others in an equal setting, so that their minds are free for some other important purpose?
Or do we bring the worry on ourselves?
I rather suspect the latter, in my case.
Peace and love,
S.
PS - I really didn't start this in from a depressing view, but now it sounds it - perhaps related to the possible backlash from the email sent to all students re: bullying after I did my very best to inform the School of the harassment I have been receiving? I can hear my group members in the corridor and yep - now that I'm focusing on the matter, my heart is somewhere near my epiglottis, I think.
